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Daily Tech: Large Hadron Collider To End The World
Posted by singaporedaily on September 9th, 2008
THE END IS NEIGH! In less than 24 hours At 15:15 SGT 10 Sep 2008, scientists from CERN will attempt to activate the Large Hadron Collider and open a Stargate which will set off an imminent alien invasion. That’s if the thing doesn’t accidentally generate a black hole and wipe Earth off the interplanetary map first. Those hours you put in Doom and Halflife have finally paid off.
This is what wiki has to say about the doomsday device:
The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) is the world’s largest particle accelerator complex, intended to collide opposing beams of 7 TeV protons. Its main purpose is to explore the validity and limitations of the Standard Model, the current theoretical picture for particle physics. When activated, it is theorized that the collider will produce the elusive Higgs boson, the observation of which could confirm the predictions and missing links in the Standard Model of physics and could explain how other elementary particles acquire properties such as mass.
Look, if that doesn’t speel Black Hole PWNZerator I don’t know what does. To watch this history ending event, tune in to the live webcast here.
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September 9th, 2008 at 11:55 am
Repent! Repent! And Thou Shalt Be saved! AieEeeeee……
September 9th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
we are all so going to die
http://www.cracked.com/article_16583_5-scientific-experiments-most-likely-end-world.html
Recreating the Big Bang
Scientists are kind of pissed that they weren’t around when the Big Bang happened. Here we had an event that holds all of the secrets to reality, and we missed it because we were lazy enough not to evolve for another 13 billion years.
The solution, science says, is to make it happen again. They assure us that they can stage a new Big Bang if they smash some protons together really, really fucking hard. In fact, they can make a million of them per second, which is 999,999 more than God managed.
God, 1. Science, 999,999.
What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
Well, first imagine an apocalyptic nuclear holocaust. Multiply that by about one hundred and twenty thousand billion, and then multiply that by around the neighborhood of infinity. That equals around one eighth of the magnitude of the Big Bang. Nevertheless, scientists are pretty sure they can contain their Big Bang in an erlenmeyer flask, just so long as they remember to cork it.
So, Basically It’s Like…
Imagine you have a huge tanker truck parked outside a children’s hospital. You don’t know what’s inside it, but you’re fairly confident that it’s either a cure for cancer, or 20,000 gallons of explosive nitroglycerin. To find out which, you have to shoot at it with an AK-47.
How Long Have We Got?
Meet the Large Hadron Collider.
This is not only the largest particle accelerator ever built, it’s the largest anything ever built. Originally set to come online in 2005, then delayed until September 2008, the LHC will fire very small objects around its 17-mile circumference at close to the speed of light, before smashing the shit out of them and watching what comes out.
The problem, of course, is that even the eggheads don’t really know what’s going to happen, which is sort of why they’re doing it in the first place. That’s also why a lawsuit was filed to put a stop to it. Scientists on the LHC project insist there is no danger, and predict that the resulting observations could revolutionize science and send us into a golden age of knowledge, in the event that we actually survive.
Risk Level: 3
Experts assure us that based on everything we know about science, the chances of doom are fairly slim. Experts also say LHC will change everything we know about science. So there is a certain chance that one of the brand new things they learn about the LHC is that the LHC has the ability turn the entire planet into a fine cloud of particles.
September 9th, 2008 at 8:03 pm
Where is Gordon Freeman?
September 9th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
hey if it is doomsday tomorrow, why am I still in office rushing my work? Think I just go home and sleep. I’ll leave the panicking for tomorrow if nothing happens :P
September 9th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
Oh no it is the end of the world.
Yeah you wished, not going to happen.
September 9th, 2008 at 11:00 pm
Thanks for the live webcast link. What is the local time when we all get suck into the black hole?
September 10th, 2008 at 10:02 am
@Roy Ters
Added the time. Around 3:15pm today Singapore time. See you on the other side!
September 10th, 2008 at 11:44 am
Wired has a good explanation about the experiment
http://blog.wired.com/wiredscience/2008/09/the-bosons-that.html
I’ll be watching it today after lunch. Good luck everyone!
September 10th, 2008 at 3:38 pm
Turns out we’re still alive! Hehe
September 10th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
What, no aliens? Aww shucks.. *keeps double barrel shotgun and BFG*
September 10th, 2008 at 8:18 pm
Theoretically possible.
Everyone seem to have a end of the world suicide thought nowadays.
Don’t be so pessimistic, We will overcome :)
ie Tyranny , despotism, RIGHT TO VOTE(not bought).
FT turn Citizens(no include PR sorry) are welcome to join. :)
For Singapore Future, we will survived and we will overcome. :)